Hi again, friends!
I’m still working through Shanna’s “Created to Create” devotional (I’m savoring it, okay?), and I recently read the entry called “Make It.” God’s been working in me lately to shift out of second gear on a couple of… creative endeavors. So when Shanna said to make it happen in the devo, it was, to me, just more of God saying, “Tawni! Tawni! Tawni! Make it happen, already!”
You see, I like to wait. I’m not a perfectionist, I don’t think, but I like to wait until I am ready. Sometimes, anyway. There are things that I’ll dive headfirst into without a second thought, but in my creative/professional life, I usually like to get things juuuuuust right before I do this or do that.
And you know what happens?
I keep waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
Because in my mind, this color is off, or I used the wrong paint, or that ink isn’t right, or my lettering needs a lot more work, or someone else is already doing it better, or… why isn’t this perfect yet!? So I keep waiting and waiting until I reach perfection, but perfection never comes.
I don’t throw in the towel though, no. What happens next is that I realize how wrong I’ve been, waiting for perfection, and so I just go with it, however messy it seems to be (to me).
This is an almost-daily struggle, and almost-daily I have to relearn a very important lesson: I cannot create something that is perfect. And if I keep putting things off, or if I hold something back from the world because it doesn’t seem perfect to me, there is someone out there that will be missing out on a message. It’s not perfect artwork which is the most beautiful thing, here. The most beautiful thing is what the beautiful mess represents: GRACE. LOVE. REDEMPTION. GRACE. FORGIVENESS. WISDOM. GRACE. GRACE.
So I’m inflating my water-wings and am going to step into that water, no matter how messy or muddy it looks or how unready I feel. Because God’s been telling me that He’s ready for me to trust Him.
What do you need to let go of and trust God with today? Let’s be praying for greater faith and understanding of His ways — in ourselves and in each other. And let’s remember that His ways are perfect, and therefore nothing is impossible with God.
xotawni
Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Created to Create Kit devotional | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Be Bold bible mat | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd precision pen (.25) | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Big and Bold alphabet stickers (Hey Sugar Sugar) | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Typed alphabet stickers (Practice What You Peach, Oh My Heavens, Hey Sugar Sugar) | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Homespun alphabet stickers (One In A Melon, Bless Her Heart) | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Wow God washi tape | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd enamel hearts (She Blooms Mix) | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Date It stamp | Illustrated Faith by Bella Blvd Beautiful Kit ink pad | Crossway Interleaved ESV journaling bible | Pelikan watercolors (cyan blue, blue green, yellow green, orange, scarlet, magenta, violet) | Vernissage paintbrush (16, flat) | Micron precision pen (purple, 01, 05) | Uniball Signo gel pen (white)
This is why I never share any songs that I write–because I’m waiting for them to be perfect–and they never will be. I admire your courage to share even though it’s not “perfect” yet. I wish I could do it but I can’t. And I love your art. It’s so you.
Thank you for sharing. I think even those of us who aren’t by nature perfectionists get caught up in that kind of self talk. Love that you brought it into the light! I love your spread too! ?