When I heard the sound of You coming in the garden, I was afraid because I am naked. So I hid from You.
– Genesis 3:10 VOICE
Have you ever wanted to hide yourself from God? Maybe you’ve wanted to hide yourself out of pride, or shame (like Adam and Eve), or maybe you’ve wanted to hide yourself because you’re a bit scared of what God has planned for you. Perhaps you’re afraid that following His will for you means giving up what you know, what you’re comfortable with, and maybe you think you’re just not ready for change quite yet.
As I read through Day One of Illustrated Faith’s “You’re Beautiful” devotional by Valerie Wieners, God kept poking at me and urging me to focus on verse 10 rather than verse 11. I kept telling Him to leave me alone, because I was trying to read something, thank you very much, but He was really persistent, so I read verse 10 a few times, and I let God speak His piece.
I’ve written to you all before about the many plans and dreams I have, and what I find is that this-or-that keeps getting in my way. Sometimes it’s my own mind that paralyzes me (comparison, fear, feelings of discouragement and doubt), and sometimes it’s just the never-ending waiting — I feel like I have breakthrough after breakthrough just to hit another brick wall. And yet, God tells me to “keep pushing, but be patient.” Then in reply, I say, “What?! What does that even mean? How can I push for something but be patient at the same time?”
What I ended up doing for a couple of weeks that felt like years, up until the moment I journaled this page, was that I stopped praying about my plans. I just stopped, because I was tired of hearing God tell me to wait all of the time. I wanted an answer that was a bit more productive (can you tell I’m really patient?), so instead of waiting and praying, I waited and became bitter.
I tried to hide myself from God. I thought just giving Him the silent treatment about the whole thing would force Him to take action and to make a move in my favor. I had done all that I could, and was still working toward the goal, but every time I prayed for guidance or for speedier results He kept giving me the same answer, so I stopped asking.
But then I realized something. I realized that it wasn’t the waiting that I had such a problem with. It was in fact the not knowing what would come after the wait that got to me. I was afraid that after I had pushed and been patient, God would then tell me, “okay, well done, but now I need you to dramatically veer off course because that finish line you see at the end is not your line to cross.” I was afraid that after all had been said and done, God would take me in another direction, after all.
My prayer life — in regard to my personal and business goals — became stagnant. And it was because I was afraid of what God’s answer would eventually be after the wait.
My friends, I had been praying the wrong prayer. I had been praying for the process and had been dreaming of all of the wonderful fruits of my labor, but hadn’t been praying for HIS WILL, not mine, to be done, whether that meant taking course A or course B.
So I read Genesis 3:10 a few times, I let Him speak to me, I journaled this page, and then I promptly prayed that God would keep all of these dreams and plans of mine in His hands. I prayed for strength to let go of my expectations, and faith to really let Him mold my future for me. And you know what? I felt so much better. Immediately.
God reminded me through this page that no matter where, why, or how we run and hide, He still sees us, and He still loves us; His purpose will be fulfilled. All we need to do now is just go with the flow, follow along, and keep praying.
And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
– Hebrews 4:13 ESV
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