When I was growing up, I went to church camp every summer. My mom was always on camp staff; she was the arts & crafts director. Who’s shocked!? hahaha At camp, I learned that there are all different sorts of worship & there’s a time for each. There’s time for praise hands & loud, joyful noise, shouting from the mountaintops & singing around a campfire! There’s a time for sharing stories of His faithfulness with your neighbor in small group & talking about all the things He’s doing in your life. There’s a time for being creative & using your specific gifts to make something visible for others to see how you love Jesus. And then there’s a time for restful worship.
We had this time during camp called F.O.B. time: Flat On Bunk. If you do anything with children or any type of childcare publicly, you may know that, by law, you have to build in some sort of rest time for kids. They need an hour during the day that they spend resting. At camp, that meant you were lying flat on your bunk. You didn’t have to be sleeping, but you had to be lying down, spending some quiet time. This never came easily for me, because I’ve always been a do-er. Gotta keep my hands busy. But it was good for me. Because you’ve GOT to slow down sometimes & reflect & rest & be quiet so you can hear Him.
The past month has been one long stretch of Flat On Bunk time for me. And let me tell you, I haven’t loved it. To say I’ve been frustrated would be an understatement. Since the beginning of August I’ve been having some issues with my hands not working right. They’ve been numb & I’ve been dropping things. It’s been hard to type, create, paint, pick things up, & do normal stuff like open a can of soda. After seeing 3 doctors (with another appointment on the horizon), I’ve been told that the best thing I can do in the interim is rest.
…REST!? That’s the best prescription you have for me, Doc, when my hands aren’t working!? My hands are literally my most-used tools of the trade. I’m an artist. A designer. A creator. And my life has come to a crashing halt without full use of them. I’ve had to scale back creative time, errands, & cut WAY down on work. I have to wear these big pads & braces at night to keep my hands & arms straight while I sleep. Since it takes me longer to get comfortable & fall asleep, I have to go to bed earlier. It takes me longer to do everything without full use of my hands.
Then it dawned on me today that this isn’t a diagnosis against God’s will. Nothing is against God’s will. This is all in His plan. He’s been telling me for so long to slow down & listen to Him & I haven’t obeyed. Maybe this is the best way to get through to me– by taking away my tools. I definitely don’t like it. There are a lot of things that God tells me that I don’t like, but I really do want to abide in Him.
So I wait. And I rest. And I pray. I pray for Him to deliver me from damage & pain. I pray for answers from the doctors. But most of all, I pray for patience as I rest & wait. I pray I find a way to continue to do His work in quiet worship. Because I guess right now He’s telling me it’s F.O.B. time. Flat On Bunk. ;)
addtional supplies: Studio Calico Mega Date Stamp | Recollections lime green chevron washi tape | mT gray polka dot washi tape | Master’s Touch acrylic paint in Titanium White | Artist’s Loft acrylic paint in Portrait Pink | Handmade Modern satin acrylic paint in Blood Orange