Sometimes my journaling starts with a devotional or a song. Sometimes I’m inspired by a sermon or a book. And sometimes, something simply jumps out of my daily reading and the Holy Spirit downloads super cool truths to my heart. That’s what happened today. There are times when I find myself reading the same passage over and over with a desperate need to just soak in what the Lord is showing me.
Psalm 31:7-20. Why did it catch my heart so off guard today? Verse 10 says “for my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.”
The Lord is no stranger to my antics, and certainly not to my wandering mind. The funniest things will get my attention and draw me in. In this case, it was the “sighing.” I am a sigher. My husband tells me I sigh all the time. I swear, friends, I am not a super dramatic debbie downer type, and so I TRY not to sigh when I get overwhelmed or think too hard or have a long day. But alas, I have zero will power over the sigh. It just is. So when I saw sighing in this Psalm, I had to read it a hundred times and every time ask the Lord what He was trying to say.
Guys, read the whole passage and you’ll have a tiny glimpse into my own heart. I am a jumbled mess of stressed out meets grace clinger. I sway back and forth between being borderline overwhelmed with life and being fully aware of God’s presence. I’m a work in progress. I know that my sighs, even the unintentional ones, are cries for help. They beg for someone to notice that I’m not totally handling things as well as I’d like. But the Lord challenged me with this passage.
Verses 19 and 20 says “Oh how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you… In the cover of your presence you hide them…”
And just like that, my sigh for attention becomes a sigh of relief. I can breathe in the shelter of God’s presence and exhale all the anxiety and stress of what life can throw my way. I can’t do this. But He can. *sigh*
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