As I seek contentment in Jesus, I find that the major thing holding me back is comparison. So much of how I see myself and my life filters through the distorted lens of comparison. I hold myself to crazy standards and think “I’m not doing/saying/making/being enough.” One of the ways it really shows is my constant comparison to other women and how they are living out their calling. I look at a single friend and think, “She’s able to do SO much more than me.” I look at a friend whose children are in school full-time and think, “She’s got SO much more time to create/workout/keep her home clean.” And I look at my husband or other ladies, who work full-time and think, “He makes SO much more money than me.” And then I try to figure out what I’m doing wrong…why do I not do more, create more, workout more, clean more, make more money. Why am I not enough?
And it all comes down to seasons. I am in a different season than those friends. And in all honesty, I have a different mission (we all do!). I am in a season with small children who need my help and care, and so I don’t have as much time to follow other pursuits. And I chose this. I want this. God wants this for me. I want to be fully present in THIS season.
I came across a verse, Acts 1:8:
“And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
And you know what? It dawned on me: Jesus says we will be His witnesses in Jerusalem (your family and city), throughout Judea (your state), in Samaria (your country), and all throughout the earth.
And I got to thinking: maybe this season I am a witness for Jesus in my Jerusalem? Maybe it’s okay to pour into my family, my tribe in this season. There will be other seasons. Seasons to follow God outside my city and state. Seasons to share Christ in other ways, to other people. But right now, today, this week, I am learning to be content here, with my small stage, in a season of Jerusalem.
And my heart breathed a little sigh of relief. I can shed the comparisons that weigh me down. I am trying to step off that roller coaster. I can own this season and what Jesus has for me here. Friends, this truth is for you as well. Whatever season God has you living in, it is the one He is excited about for you. And your stage might not be big. And it might not look like hers. Or hers. Or hers. But it’s yours.
Illustrated Faith Seek Contentment Journal Kit and Seek Contentment Elements digital sets by Brianna Showalter | traveler’s notebook insert | Glue Dots by 3M | Pilot Precise Extra fine black pen | washi tape from Raindrop Washi Shop | Daniel Smith watercolors