Greetings Beloved Illustrated Faith Family –
Broken. I feel very broken in my heart. In the past three years, I have been blessed and stretched. Honored to walk out the passing of two people I love so much – Mom and Dad Bruce.
Some people might say, well they were old (both lived to be 91) and that’s a season of life – caring for your parents. Some people might not understand because they were technically my in laws. Mostly, I think people just don’t know what to say when you walk out the hard stuff of sickness or when you are grieving. It’s a space of feeling ok one moment and ready to fall into a heap on the floor the next. It’s a space of never having your “act together” because your brain just becomes foggy and your body aches. Even those who walked the journey with you can’t often understand or speak into the broken places of your heart. It’s really kind of lonely.
Jesus gets it. Jesus not only knows the broken pieces. He was there — EVERYTHING we walk, every tear, every torn place, every sacred moment, every messy space, and every hurt — goes through His heart too. He saw all the moments you loved when it was so hard you felt like you couldn’t breathe and all you wanted to do was to run full speed away from the pain of not being able to fix anything. Let me say that again, Jesus was there. He saw it ALL.
So I have been asking the Lord, how do I find “normal” again. What is “normal” anyway? And He whispers, “just love” and then I hear faintly and “receive love.”
When I think back to the days when I felt like I could stand, it was because I was pouring out love like my life depended on it. Pouring it out into my yoga students and classes, into my art, into my writing, and most importantly into anyone else who might be walking something hard. And because I was a broken mess inside, it was never perfect but I loved in anyway I could – a prayer, a simple text, a small package, a touch, a smile, a word. If I saw or heard a faint reflection of my brokeness in someone else, it was like God’s call to be His hands and feet. My broken places provide a precious “knowing” that God has entrusted to me.
I haven’t figured this all out but this passage in 1 Corinthians 16:14 is a beginning.
Let all that you do be done in love.
I am thinking I will start there. I am going to choose to let the broken places continue to be used by Him. Perhaps they will be mended by the love poured out and woven into something beautiful — healed by the very nature of love itself and painted into a rainbow of hope and faith.
Maybe it’s not such a bad thing to have a broken heart.
I started with a simple heart shape. I used dashes to symbolize the pieces of my heart.
Our hearts beat in so many colors. Every color and piece is precious to God. The broken pieces I think are especially precious. I continued to add dashes with coral.
Blue and yellow.
Illustrated Faith green.
Quick dry with the craft tool.
Even though my heart feels so broken, I am finding so much hope in this happy heart made of colored dashes. One day, all the dashes sewn will bring healing joy.
I added Illustrated Faith Brushed Words by https://katygirldesigns.com/ and smoothed the clear sticker down with an Illustrated Faith Paint card.
I underlined the key scripture.
I wanted a simple tab so I punched out a heart from the Illustrated Faith All the People 12 x 12 Hope paper.
I added “love is spoken here” from the Say It Colorful sticker collection.
And “heals” from Words basic collection.
We are called to do ALL things with love. I think when you are hurting inside, it’s easy focus on your broken pieces, to feel useless and hopeless. But it is from the places of brokeness that we can love well. And when we are broken, I think it’s even more important to switch focus from yourself to others.
Love gathers all the broken pieces together and uses them for His glory. Love doesn’t choose where its spilled. It’s the nature of Love to spill all over everything when we choose to operate in it.
So let’s determine where ever we are in our own hearts, to love. To love extravagantly without discrimination. To let love be our operating language.
I challenge you to make your own colorful pieces heart and to pray that God would help you operate fully in His love. Please tag me on Instagram if you do @designsbyamybruce. It would bring so much joy to me to see your hearts.
In His love,